The Body Exchange
by fang-kid
Summary: Yoh and Anna's body had swapped and so is Pirika and Ren, accidentally because of Jun's insanity she caught from 'too much hot weather'. I suck at summaries! Anyway, whenever you read, pls. review, tnx
1. the prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing...

The Body Exchange

Chapter 1

It was a bright summer afternoon… Ren was on the garden, lying on the grass

"Atsui…" Ren breathily said as he fanned his hands…

"That's why I hate summer…" A familiar voice said behind him.

"Nechan! What are you doing here?" He looked onto his elder sister smiling behind him, fanning her o-fuda.

"Would you mind if I join you?" She asked attempting to lie down on the grass beside her beloved younger brother.

Ren gave her his usual cold glance and rolled his eyes. "Ok, I'll take that as a yes…" Jun said as she lay down beside him.

"You're a stupid bastard…" Jun suddenly stated. Ren was about to talk back, but he can't, he was mental blocked, it was so shocking, all of a sudden Jun would say something as heavy as that, it was so confusing, he doesn't understand what is she talking about.

"P-pardon?" Ren asked.

"I said, you're a God-damned stupid bastard…" Jun repeated. Ren's heart beat so fast. He wondered if he had done something wrong to his beloved elder sister to make her say words that she would never say even in a million years. He was so speechless…

"How's my acting?" Jun smiled…

"Too much heat makes people insane…" Ren said.

"Com'on, tell me! I wanna know!" Jun insisted.

"Stupid, as what you told me…" Ren replied.

"You're so mean…" Jun pouted.

"What's wrong with you?" Ren said as he glared.

"Nothing… I'm just so bored, I guess you're right 'too much heat makes people insane'…" Jun giggled, Ren gave her a weird look.

"Awww, you're so cute with that look!" Jun squeezed Ren's cheeks.

"Arrrggghhh! Will you stop that mushy stuff!" Ren rubbed his cheeks, blushing. Jun calmed down.

"I wish I weren't me…" Jun suddenly said making Ren confused again.

"You're acting so weird today…" Ren replied.

"Ya know, I want a simpler life, I wanna be younger… Of course I also want to have an older brother more that I wanted to have a younger sister…" Jun explained.

"So, you're trying to tell me you don't want 'ME' as 'YOU'RE' brother?" Ren asked.

"Of course not! I love you too as my younger brother but I also want to try another life, a simpler life… just like Pirika… Ya know, if there will be a chance to have my body swapped, I will have my body swapped with her… "

"That's totally senseless and STUPID…" Ren retorted as he blushed.

"I'll prove you, IT'S NOT STUPID! Tomorrow you'll just see Pirika around here in this house, I'll show you!" Jun exclaimed as she walked away.

"Yeah, whatever…" Ren lazily replied.

(inside Jun's room locked)

"Now, Ren… I'll prove to you… there's no such word as 'stupid' that will come out of your stinky mouth once you'll see the result tomorrow… (evil grin)" Jun said as she opened the book of collections of rare spells of different shamans around the world, collected by her mom.

"Hmm, Body Fusion, Body fission, Body Slimming, umm I guess I also wanted that spell, THERE! There it is! Body Exchange!" Jun exclaimed in excitement as she found the spell.

"Ok, so it says, 'This spell requires 4 o-fudas and of course, the shaman's ability. The shaman that will apply this spell should have at least a spirit guardian or a kyon-shi. This also requires a bottle of milk..' A bottle of milk? Is this book crazy? 'since milk has one of the four elements that can enter a person's body and it's color is a symbol of purity and cleanliness. This spell wont work if applied for bad intentions. So the procedure will be…'

Jun continued reading until she finished reading the whole procedure.

"Damn it… I still need to steal a bottle of milk from Ren… Nah, I will just have Pai Long do that…"

(an hour later)

"All of the spirits of four elements let my hail be heard…(clouds darkening, thunder and lightning appears) (forms a diamond through her fingers, places the glass of milk in the center) let the color of purity shine and strike your eyes…(places the first o-fuda at the top corner of the diamond) let my hail reach to the land! (slight earthquake)

(to Ren)

"Whoa! This place's a bit shaky… I guess I must go back inside" Ren run inside and forgot his kuan dao outside.

(back to Jun)

"To the wind! (places the second o-fuda at the left corner of the diamond) To the flame! (places the third o-fuda at the right corner of the diamond) And to the most significant, purest, indestructible of all, to the water! (places the last o-fuda at the bottom corner of the diamond)"

Lots of energy roamed around Jun's room. She can see the four elements settle at each corner of the diamond.

"Perfect…"

"Spirits of the four elements, let this fluid be blessed and be a medium. Let the image of Pirika Usui absorb in this medium and he or she who drink this will have the image of her and she will have the image of he or she that will drink this…" Jun hailed as she watched the four elements absorb in the milk making the surroundings back to normal.

"Whew! I think casting a spell sounds so stupid…second procedure is done, now to the third procedure, and I wish Ren was not in the garden anymore…"

Jun went to the garden with the blessed medium and found no Ren.

"Ok, so where in this garden could I find a place where all of the four elements will gather?" Jun looked around and saw soil, and behind the soil there is a small swamp and of course, there is wind everywhere.

"So, all I need is fire…" Jun placed the glass of milk between the lump of soil and the small swamp. She gathered some dead leaves near the soil and swamp and lit fire on it.

"There, all done… (yawns and stretches) I never thought that casting a spell would also take up your energy… anyway, since it is stated in the book that I should wait for an hour before drinking the milk, I might as well get a nap…" Jun went back to her room and took a nap.

(An hour later…)

"Grrrr… where did that stupid weapon go?" Ren asked Bason, slamming everything, looking for his kuan dao.

"I don't know, Bochama…" Replied Bason.

"HOW COME YOU DON'T KNOW!" Ren replied very ticked.

"I don't have an idea where did you put it. I guess you left in on the garden, since that was the last place you went on bringing your kuan dao." Bason said.

"I guess your right…" Ren went to the garden.

(to the garden)

"I was right bochama…" Bason pointed the lost weapon.

"Well, sometimes you get very useful to me Bason…" Ren said.

"Thanks, master…" Bason thanked Ren

"Hey, Bason, (sniffs air) do you smell what I smell?" Ren asked.

"I am not a human anymore, master…" Bason replied.

"I smell smoke over there… let's check it out!" Ren stated.

They went to that smoke and found out something they shouldn't.

"What's THIS?" Ren asked as he showered some swamp water to the fire, and blew it away.

"How, stupid… what is a glass of milk doing here?" Ren asked as he examined the milk carefully if it is potable.

"I don't know…" Bason replied.

"You know, I hate that kind of reply, if you don't know something will you just shut up?" Ren retorted.

"I guess this milk is potable… How stupid of whom put this milk here…" Ren said as he gulped the milk.

"Bochama! (Ren starting to collapse) Are you ok bochama?" Bason asked as he caught his young master before falling in the ground.

"I feel very tired… I guess this was the effect of too much heat…" Ren replied. "Don't worry about me… (stands up and heads to his room) I will just take a nap…"

888 END OF CHAP 1 888

I wish you enjoyed this fic, ya know I am so sleepy when I typed this so maybe you'll find the plot stupid and their dialogues too but anyway, please review and lemme know if the story is stupid or what…


	2. the orientation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

The Body Exchange

Chapter 3: The Orientation

Morning came…

"(stretches and yawns, scratches eyes) It's already morning… (stands up from her bed)" Jun had her rise and shine.

"Ohayo Jun-sama…" Pai Long bowed down to his master as she passed by him.

"Ohayo Pai Long…" Jun smiled back as she was heading to her dresser to groom herself.

"Looks like we had a happy day, Jun-sama… can you share it to me?" Pai Long told Jun as she was brushing her hair, powdering her face.

"Nothing really… didn't you notice?" Jun asked smiling, and humming.

"You're same as before…" Pai Long replied.

"Didn't you notice my changes, I mean, my figure, my face, my hair, ya know?"

"Umm… (eyes on Jun from head to toe) your diet was effective?" Pai Long asked.

"(twitches) How come you don't! It's so obvious!"

"So, wanna have a glass of milk to start your happy morning lots of energy?" Pai Long tried to change the topic. He doesn't know what does she mean and he doesn't want to make her upset since he knew that she had a very happy morning.

"God damn it! Don't change the topic into a stupid milk! (pauses) Milk? OH MY GOSH! (scrams out of the house to the garden)"

(To Ren)

"(stands up from the bed, yawning and stretching) I feel very light… did I lose my weight?" Ren asked himself.

"Where is Bason? (Ren looked outside the window and sees Jun screaming 'my potion, it spilled!') ch, she's experimenting on mom's spellbook again… aherm, why is my voice like this? Am I having a sore thoat?" The morning breeze brushed against his hair that made it flew wildly.

"Damn this long hair! (takes a small string and ties his hair)"

…..

"Wait? Did I mention, 'long hair'?" Ren asked himself very skeptically rushing to the mirror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

(To Pirika)

RING….. (the phone beside Pirika's bed is ringing)

"(awakened and picks up the phone) Moshi-moshi…"

"Hey you stupid brat, what have you done to my body!" A familiar voice asked her.

"(POV) Did I hear myself on the phone?" Pirika asked herself

"I said, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BODY!" She heard her voice yells on the phone.

"Huh? I don't get it… who are you?" Pirika asked still skeptical of her strange low voice that she thought caused by sore throat and her original voice used by another person on the phone.

"Let's meet at the Funbari Cemetery, I'm gonna tell you such a very important matter, Oh and by the way, dress up like a guy or else I'll kill YOU" And the voice on the other line put down the phone.

(later at the Funbari cemetery)

"Now tell me what's this mess?" Asked Pirika, wearing her brother's clothes since she was now considered 'male', eyeing on Ren, using her body wearing Jun's cheongsam with her hairclips, and the same time shocked to see herself used by another person.

"In fact, I was the one who should ask you that but since I'm the one who knows the reason, I guess you just shut that big mouth and listen to what I'm going to tell…" Ren started his story "It all started yesterday… Jun was bored due to 'too much heat', which made her 'insane' and acted very very weird and suddenly came up with an idea of having a simple life and it happened that the type of 'simple life' she wanted was 'yours', so she came up of creating spells and potions last evening and it succeeded but UNFORTUNATELY to me and THAT'S THE BIGGEST problem we had by now!"

"Hey, I just notice this time that Jun's cheongsam looks cute for my body " Pirika said.

"And that filthy clothes of your beloved brother doesn't suit me very much…" Ren replied arrogantly.

"My brother's clothes are not filthy, and I'll never go and dare to wear your umm… err… out-of-this-world clothes!" Pirika replied stammering.

"If you don't know how to insult properly, then you'll NEVER BE ME …"

"It's like I always wanted to be YOU, bastard…"

"Enough with your corny insults… let's proceed to OUR problem. There's a very important thing you should remember: Never tell this to ANYONE or ANYTHING or ANY SPIRIT. I had a doubt Jun had used the power of YinYang and I can feel the power of four elements guarding us. If you'll try to tell this to anyone, you'll gonna break the barrier and a worse thing will happen…"

"Then what's that worse thing?"

"According to my analysis, she used the body exchange spell, the consequences of telling these to anyone will lead to the destruction of OUR body, whether you're the only one who told it or me."

"(nods)"

"Well, being me requires many things, this is my schedule, (shows Pirika a piece of paper)"

"(grabs the piece of paper and reads)What's this language?"

"(rolls eyes) I forgot, you don't know how to read and speak Chinese… now that's another big problem. I guess you just need to study, I have lots of books at our library that I have used since I was still in elementary for our Language subject, that might be helpful. Ok I'll read this for you…"

They had finally an exchange of skeds and find each other's new life very very difficult to adapt.

(At the Tao mansion, in Jun's room)

"(sighs) It's 11:30 already…" Jun laid down her bed.

"(sniffs something in the air) Hmmm… smells great… wonder what does the maid's cooking downstairs…" Jun went down being curious about the food being cooked by their servants. It was something very unfamiliar, something new from the usual smell of chow mien, chop suey, congee and mian tiao (noodles) that they always eat.

(at the kitchen)

Jun was so shocked to see who's cooking in the kitchen.

"Ren! You … know how to cook!" Jun exclaimed.

"Of course… (humming)" Pirika hums happily while stirring the mixture.

"What's that? (peeps behind Pirika's back)

"It is called 'Curry rice'. (puts cooked curry in 4 plates of rice) Try…"

Jun took one bowl and ate a spoonful of it.

"Its… delicious…" Jun was so shocked at the same time very doubtful. Ren hates to do any household chores and never do anything in this house even cleaning his room and now to cook? Is there something special? Where did he learn to cook Japanese dishes?

(To Horo and Pirika's house)

"Ugh! This place is too small! (looks around the kitchen) (sighs) It's already 11:30, I still have to ugh, 'COOK' lunch for this stupid imbecile (glares at Horohoro, sleeping on the couch drooling)

"Hey, imbecile! (slapped the spatula on Horohoro's head) Will you stop drooling there! (drags Horohoro's collar) Stand up! Cook your lunch!" Ren demanded.

"Huh?" Asked Horohoro wiping his spit off his mouth.

"I said go and cook your lunch!" Ren demanded kicking Horohoro's butt to the kitchen.

"Pirika, what's wrong with you?" Asked Horohoro facing the stove, holding the saucepan.

"What 'what's wrong'? Faster! I am already hungry!" Ren yelled.

"But… you know that I don't know how to cook? Why are you…"

"STOP COMPLAINING AND DO EVERYTHING THAT I SAY!" Ren demanded as he cracked a whip.

"Y – Yes Pi- Piri…"

"Call me your master!"

"Ye- Yes Pirika-sama"

End of chap 2

I don't like this chapter since I can think of anything to type… Next chapter will be all about Anna and Yoh,

please review tnx


	3. Hao's scheme and Yoh's revenge

Disclaimer: You know what 'disclaimer' means…

The Body Exchange

Chapter 3: Hao's Scheme

(To Anna and Yoh)

"Faster!" Anna yelled cracking her whip while training Yoh, forcing him to do 500 push-ups/min.

"B- but ha… 500 push-ups ha… is very ha… im… ha… possible…ha" Yoh breathlessly replied while he is still too busy of his backbreaking training.

"STOP COMPLAINING! You'll never get over of this training until you haven't broke that braggart Tao's record of 100 push-ups/min!"

"B- but this is ha… too… much…"

WHACK!

"Waaaaaaaahhhhh! Have mercy Anna-sama!"

(Nighttime, on Yoh's room)

"Damn… my back's too painful… I feel like my backbones' about to collapse…"

Yoh lied stomach down on his bed. He can't lie on his back because of those painful wounds caused by Anna's unmerciful 50 hard whips. He can still take Hao's attacks but he still doesn't understand why Anna, only an ORDINARY grumpy girl, would give him such torture. It's ok to him if she only gives him those very strenuous training and those whips, but what he hates the most is the household chores. After those strenuous training, she still have the nerve to ask him do everything in this house, HIS house, not hers. She just live here for free but she don't feel shame, and even just sit in the front of TV, watching her oh, so precious drama series… He's even the one who does her laundry and tortures him if he doesn't… She just accepted him as her fiancé not because of love but just because of the 'title' and for slacking…

"She is so abusive…" Yoh thought.

"Wanna have a glass of milk?" A familiar voice from the window said.

"Hao! What the hell are you doing here? I am not in the condition for a fight, just go back tomorrow…"

"I'm not here for a fight… I'm just here to offer a glass of milk, actually not an ordinary milk…" Hao explained while holding a glass of milk.

"Maybe Ren would appreciate your offer more than I do… Just go now…" Yoh shook his hands goodbye to Hao.

"(enters the window and sits on Yoh's bed) Oh, common, this helps you regain your strength, and besides this is the thing you need to get out of your problem…" Hao smirked.

"Hao, I am not interested of any of your dark offers, will you just go and let me sleep. I'm so sleepy… (shoves blanket to his body and closes his eyes)"

"What if I'll tell you that this milk will make her feel the way you feel by now?" Hao sarcastically asked.

"(gets up and faces Hao) What do suppose to mean?" Asked Yoh curiously.

"I know that my poor twin is suffering from being conquered by such a ruthless bitch, and I can't take to see my twin getting tortured so I went here and brought something that will help…"

"So what does that milk do?"

"It's for you to find out… Oh, by the way, telling the result to anyone, anything or any spirit will cost yours and Anna's lives" Hao vanished in the thin air, leaving the glass of milk in Yoh's study table.

Yoh stared at the glass of milk for a couple of minutes…

"What if that milk is a trap? Or maybe that is a very deadly poison that could kill me in just a split second… Or what if it indeed helps? Then if it helps, what can it do?" These thoughts repeated on Yoh's mind. But finally, after a few minutes of debating, he finally came up of a decision…

"Better suicide than to be married with a ruthless bitch!" Yoh gulped the milk. He finally went unconscious and fell down on the floor.

(morning came…)

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yoh heard a loud scream from the bathroom downstairs.

"What happened? (rubs his eyes) Shit, still alive…" Yoh stood up and went down stairs, had himself ready for another whip.

"What's wrong Anna… OH SHIT!" Yoh was so shocked to see his body used by the 'ruthless bitch' who used to torture him.

"Damn it Yoh! What have you done to our body?" Anna yelled.

"I dunno…" Yoh replied sarcastically with an evil grin. He left the bathroom.

"Hey! I'm still talking to you! I'm ordering you to come back here, NOW! Or else…"

"Shut up! I am 'YOU' and you are 'ME' so now you don't have the right to bug me…" Lies on his side on the floor and turns the TV on.

"Grrrrr… fuck your ass, Yoh…" Anna gritted her teeth as she left the bathroom.

"What are you waiting for? Go now and cook our breakfast, and after that go outside and continue 'my' 500 push-ups/min. Remember, I won't be the shaman king if you will not train my body properly…" Yoh smirked as he twirls his new soft blond hair.

"Grrrr… Once we'll get our bodies back to normal, you'll gonna pay a lot for all of this fuck up, mark my words…"Anna retorted under her breath as she fried eggs on the pan.

"As if… (puts on lip gloss and powders his smooth face) If you won't stop complaining, I will give you another 50 whips. Oh, by the way, I will just go and have a tea with Tamao outside, I'll be back soon…"

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOH!"

"Correction, I'm ANNA, (giggles), Oh, by the way my dear, if you'll tell this to anyone, anything or any spirit, this will cost our lives, so be careful… (leans his face and kisses Anna) Bye 'Yoh' sweety"

"(POV) Now, Anna, prepare for my revenge…"

End of chapter 3

Haha, now Yoh got his revenge… anyway, please review


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